never return

(Matt wearing his favorite shirt. Fisherman's Village Island, Thailand)

Yesterday, hundreds of friends and family sat on the 24th street beach in Avalon to celebrate and memorialize Matt's life and his impact on others. His best buddy, Patrick, ordered over two hundred Quit Your Job shirts from the Island Company to hand out, as a reminder of Matt's mantra. Patrick shared this email with us-- an email from Spencer Antle, the founder of the company who created the shirts. Matt, easily, could have written this email. It's along the same lines as a converstaion I had with Matt over his shirt, walking around an island off the coast of Thailand. Spencer's letter is below...read on...


Patrick,

Let me know that you got the shirts when they arrive and that all is accounted for. I hope we were helpful and I hope that the memorial goes well.

The thought of all those people wearing the shirts at such a situation is staggering to us here. For something I wrote to have been part of someone's life like that is heartfelt for me. It was meant to make people think about their lives and to get out there and live. After hearing the story, it's clear that was how Matty was living his life. To have the shirt associated with his passing is difficult for me to comprehend somehow. I've always had a rule when I attend funerals or memorials that I try and find something about the person who's passed and incorporate it into my daily life. I didn't know him but somehow this has reaffirmed what that shirt was supposed to mean. That life is short and we can waste no time not enjoying it to its fullest. I wanted to explain a bit about the shirt and what it means to me since I am sure it will become a topic of conversation since so many people will be wearing it as a testament to what Matty valued in his life. The meaning of the shirt isn't as base as people usually think.

QUIT YOUR JOB: It isnt exactly about just quitting your job. It's about getting unstuck. If you're not happy, what are you waiting for? Quit following the path that is unfulfilled and consider doing something else. The time is Now. For most of us, this is the hardest part of changing your life. Making that first step. You have two choices in life: the path of least resistance, or the path you can’t resist. I say, “why resist?”. Quit. Go. Now.

BUY A TICKET: the world is a big place and there's a million dreams we've all had, most of which will go unrealized unfortunately. Buying a ticket means finding a destination where you think improvement can be made and pointing yourself in that direction. The great thing about travel is when we get somewhere new our lives usually appear different to us when we look back into them from the outside. I've always thought that as a society we don't spend enough time vacationing. We spend 50 weeks a year working for the goal of taking 2 weeks off. There’s an obvious problem with this equation. But even one day off, if lived correctly, can be a major return on a small investment. The ticket doesn’t cost that much in the scope of life.

GET A TAN: It’s not about the tan. It's really about letting yourself go, to really learn to relax and become a "local" in your new environment. I've found through extensive island travels that its takes a considerable amount of time to become "unstuck" and become a local. Our day-to-day jobs, efforts, trials and tribulations build up a lot of scar tissue and we put up a lot of barriers in dealing with them. This makes seeing the good things hard sometimes. It takes nearly a month to truly decompress. Another month to become yourself again (and by yourself I mean that person who was once full of ideals and dreams that has been slowly silenced by the day to day monotony that seems to change us and put us off course). And again it takes another month just to become indoctrinated in becoming a “local” in whatever new environment you are in. The locals know the roads, the hideaways, the places that make you smile. They are freer than us. So yeah, I guess I'm saying that to truly "get a tan", and not just a "tourist tan", you need to be somewhere 3 months. We've seen them on vacation - those dark-skinned, ex-patriated locals that make us jealous. Their tans are different than ours. Well so are their minds too.

FALL IN LOVE. I think this is a testament to becoming yourself again. It doesn't necessarily mean "finally finding that perfect person that only exists in faraway fantasy locales", but by returning to the state of mind that allows you to be open to falling in love. In love with where you are, who you are, and in love with the potential of your future. This love is what allows great things to happen again. And it usually isn’t dependent on anyone other than ourselves to achieve.

NEVER RETURN. Well it's the best ending to being reborn. Don't go back to the past, keep moving forward, life can be as great as we want to make it, so never move backward. The past makes up who we are. No matter how great, or how bad some events have shaped us, it's what we're left with today that we have to work with. This is where true growth happens in our life. By moving forward, building upon the past, seeking greatness in the future. Never returning.

I'm sure that Matty would want there to be a celebration for what he did and accomplished, if even for his short time, I’m sure he was proud of it. Most true travelers, wanderers and seekers seem to share this view on Life and Death. To truly walk into the future with open eyes and an idealistic heart, you have to have a shallow fear of death. If you don’t have this strength you can’t get very close to The Edge, and unfortunately The Edge is where most living takes place, where most of life’s rewards are found. Everyone knows the timeless saying that nothing great came without risks. And we all know Life is rarely found sitting on the couch. People who share an affinity for this shirt seem to be of this Life Warrior spirit. It’s just a tee shirt at the end of the day but its really weird the people it attracts.

I tell my family that if anything ever happens to me to celebrate what I did, not the loss of what I didn't do. I've had great opportunities, seen great things, and done more in some months that people get to do their whole lives. And I'd be upset if anyone spent even one minute mourning my life. I'd rather it be talked, rejoiced and laughed about and I’d be upset that I couldn’t attend my own memorial. It’d be the only time all my friends who knew me got together at one time. What a shame it’d be if all those great people that shared one singular person didn’t have a blast at this once-in-a-lifetime event. Matty's life deserves the same.

I would've liked to have met Matty -- another warrior from the front lines of life and its experiences.... He sounds pretty cool.

Please pass on Island Company's and my thoughts and wishes to all his family and friends.

Kindest thoughts,
Spencer Antle
Creative Director
Island Company

top of the day to you

A few years ago i started making a list of my highs.  You know, the best part of your day. The high. It is mostly a mental list-- although i've written some of them down, shared some of them through stories and letters, most of my highs are stored in my head (read: some forgotten, some remembered). Sometimes my high is as simple as receiving a smile from a stranger, or a note from my sister. As simple as witnessing someone walking down the street, alone, with a smile on their face. Or finally being able to do a yoga pose i've been working on for months. Or waking up to a hot pot of coffee. Or getting to my car on a snowy day and finding that someone has brushed it off, just because. Or opening the mailbox to find good old fashioned snail mail from a college friend. or my mom. or my grandfather. or you. My highs are consistently the little things. The sincerity of the world around me and the people within it. Seeing someone flip a penny on the ground from tails to heads...for someone else to find, heads up.  The cashier at the grocery store who looks me in the eye and says "have a good day", and means it. Sometimes, my high, is as simple as waking up, and realizing there is a lot ahead. today. and tomorrow.

good morning 

good morning

good morning

i hope it's a great one

to love and laughter, and happily ever afters...

"Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light." 

live well, laugh often, love much

Matt signed all his emails and letters with live well, laugh often, love much. It was more than a closing, more than just a motto. It was how he lived. Honestly, I don't even know where to begin this post, I already know I will not do Matt justice. All I really know, is that he came into my life for a reason-- and luckily, I figured that out the moment I met him, not the moment he died. Matt used to say, "lose the morning, lose the day". He made the most of every day-- and truthfully, I'm not sure he would have any regrets about his life...How many of us could say that? I, am certainly not one of them, yet. 

In so many ways, Matt reminded me of Ben, my brother. He was funny, he was genuine, he was engaging. He reminded me of someone YOU would want to be friends with. You'd want him in your life forever, and you'd probably realize that, like me, within minutes of meeting him.  Losing him, would feel like the world has lost someone, not just you. And it has. I also know that through Matt's loss..the world has gained. I think for a lot of us-- it takes losing someone, like Matt, who lived every day as fully as one could-- to realize, that THAT is what life is about. Its not the small things (or maybe it is, because some small things, unlike others, DO matter). But not the smalls stuff. Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the little things, live for today, because it really is, the only thing we'll ever have. And those of us lucky enough to have had Matt in our lives, know that we have one heck of a lead to follow.

 

life is a gift

mmm

"the end of our exploration will be to arrive where we started from, and know that place for the first time." t.s. eliot

sound of music anyone?

these people have a lot of time on their hands...(and i love it)

drew and gille

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful weekend to celebrate my good friends' Drew and Gillie's wedding. Every little thing about their wedding day was personal, thoughtful and pure. Drew's father, Jay, with anecdotes and grace, officiated the ceremony. Drew and Gillie's dog, Solstice, was there to join them as they first walked down the aisle as husband and wife.  Their friends, myself included, formed an arch around the couple as they made their vows: not standing on one side, but on both. For the first time, I stood on the other (and more personal) side of a wedding I planned. 

The reception site: Panorama Farms in Earlysville-- a place Drew and his family had lived while we were in high school.  As guests drove onto the property--they followed tiki torches and bluegrass music up the hill to the tent. With a 360 dgree view of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the sun setting below them, you couldn't dream of a more fitting place to eat, drink and be merry. 

Guests were greeted with mason jars of lemonade and tea and homemade Wisconsin cheese, made by Gillie's brother, Andy. When the sun dipped below the mountains... we kept ourselves warm with wine, dancing and s'mores by the bonfire. There wasn't one cake, there were seven... all made by Albemarle Baking Company, where Gillie works part-time. 

There are memories you wish you could bottle up-- and Saturday certainly was full of them. Drew and Gillie: cheers to the two of you, and all we have to look forward to. I have a feeling, this is only the beginning! xoxo

(stay tuned for more pictures...)

april showers

it doesn't take much to make my day...

i came home last night, after a pretty long (but great) day at work. my sister had made dinner for my brother and dad... and consequently me. when i walked in...these were on the table. my dad had picked them from my mom's garden and brought them over for me and kate. talk about sweet. its the simple things in life, that make it so great. this, by far, is the best bouquet of flowers i've ever received. thanks Dad

stay tuned...

blue shout

anyone who knows me knows blue is my favorite color... a family friend just got home from paris and sent this slideshow out... its pretty fantastic. 

i'm headed to hong kong tomorrow...and i think i've just been inspired...

carpe diem continue on

the now

Carpe Diem. I know it seems like such a simple concept, but I think sometimes we have to remember to live in the moment and enjoy what is right in front of us. Recently I was having a conversation with one of my parents' friends. He told me something that I've tried to actively remember and implement in my day to day life. He said, "You don't have the past. You don't have the future. The only thing you really have, and ever will have, is the present. The now." 

Recognizing that the past has shaped who you are, and has influenced the "now"... we can appreciate it for what it is. But letting it go at that. And the future is something that we can think about and plan on (which is obviously important)-- but its something that will always be just that, the future. The ever present now is where we are, and where we'll always be. So we might as well enjoy it and live directly in it--with the best energy and ability to do so. I know its cliche, but no one knows what tomorrow will bring. So carpe diem my friend. Happy Day, Today.

USS New York

I am sure a lot of you have already seen this.... talk about reuse and recycle... and talk about proud to be an American. We melted down the twin towers and have created new ones. Here is the article...

The USS New York

 

It was built with 24 tons of  scrap steel from the World Trade Center . It is the fifth in a new class of warship designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft. 

Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite, LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept 9, 2003, 'those big rough  steelworkers treated it with total reverence,' recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. 'It was a spiritual moment for everybody there.' Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that  when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the 'hair on my neck stood up..' 'It had a big meaning to it for  all of us,' he said. 'They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back.'  The ship's motto? 'Never Forget' 

today or tomorrow

this is just a little ditty i made today. its how i feel. its a reminder too...everything has a value. read on.

(let's) get lost

happy wednesday

"Joy is not in things, it is in us."

-Richard Wagner

Prings

A good friend of mine,  John Pringle, will be playing in Charlottesville Thursday night. If you haven't heard him--he local, he's funny, he's got great stories, oh, and he  is extremely talented. And if you don't like his stuff... Gravity has great beer :)  I'd like to meet a person who doesn't love Busted in Stockholm. Just come. 

Here are the details...

Thursday, March 12th

Gravity Lounge (103 South First Street)

8:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.

tickets at the door: $9

And in case you want more Pringle in your life...read on...

Pringle’s musical journey was not an easy or typical one. Pringle, a South Carolina native, spent most of his youth growing up in Georgia as the youngest in a loving family with four older sisters. Even at a young age, Pringle had an undeniable passion for music. His life long admiration for songwriters Eddie Vedder and Bob Dylan is evident in his music today, in which traces of Vedder’s deep voice and Dylan’s defeatist lyrics echo throughout his every song. His fans have been quoted saying that “he’s the next American David Gray, someone you can listen to and smile while enjoying the beauty in each of the songs”.

Even while working on Wall Street as a commodities broker, Pringle continued to feed his musical soul performing at open mic nights throughout New York City. Pringle developed an international following, when his brokerage career took him across the pond to Europe. While living over there he overcame his fear of stage fright playing at local pubs and won the hearts of some of the world’s harshest critics, the London working class.

Pringle’s ability to honestly convey his thoughts, emotions and experiences enables him to connect in a way few artists can. The honesty in his music is a reflection of this sincere young man who “tells it like it is,” and in the greatest display of self candor walked away from a successful business career to pursue his dream.

happy monday

Matt Dances Around the World

Matt says about his travels: "In February of 2003, Matt quit his job in Brisbane, Australia and used the money he'd saved to wander around Asia until it ran out.

A few months into his trip, a travel buddy gave Matt an idea. They were standing around taking pictures in Hanoi, and his friend said "Hey, why don't you stand over there and do that dance. I'll record it." He was referring to a particular dance Matt does. It's actually the only dance Matt does. He does it badly. Anyway, this turned out to be a very good idea.

A couple years later, someone found the video online and passed it to someone else, who passed it to someone else, and so on. Now Matt is quasi-famous as "That guy who dances on the internet. No, not that guy. The other one. No, not him either. I'll send you the link. It's funny."

The response to the first video brought Matt to the attention of the nice people at Stride gum. They asked Matt if he'd be interested in taking another trip around the world to make a new video. Matt asked if they'd be paying for it. They said yes. Matt thought this sounded like another very good idea.

In 2006, Matt took a 6 month trip through 39 countries on all 7 continents. In that time, he danced a great deal."

amazing....

the razor's edge

One of my favorite books is The Razor's Edge.  I received it as a gift, when I graduated from high school. Since then, I've probably read it 4 or 5 times. In fact, it might be the only book I've picked up more than once. Each time I read it, I'm at a different point in my life, and it means something different to me. It is an incredible book and story...and impossible not to relate to. I came across this quote last night... the concept of change is at the heart of the book, which I think is why I love it so much.

"Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy."   ...Somerset Maugham

My dad told me one time that change was the only certain thing in life (he continued to tell me throughout my childhood that "life is not fair" - which as far as I am concerned, is another certainty in life)...

black sheep

one of my good friends made me the most incredible mix cd, which has been playing on a loop since he gave it to me monday... Martin Sexton sings Black Sheep in track 4. it's giving skinny love a rival. i love it. 

happy thursday to you...

grace

The Labyrinth above can be found on the floor of the Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. I wandered in there one day when I was exploring the hilly city... The labyrinth  is an ancient pattern that can be found in may forms in different cultures around the world. They are open to all people as non-denominational, cross-cultural tools for well-being. It can be used in many ways: to quite the mind, find balance, encourage meditation and insight, or for celebration. (makes me want one in my house!)...

from my #1

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

... Ralph Waldo Emerson 

just because

moon beam

My Grandfather, who I call Pop-Pop, but who others call Moon... just sent me the sweetest Valentine's e-card (he's tech savy...it's incredible) ... and these...

They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy.......

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned .... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I 've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned..... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost, someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

reminder

sometimes you just need a little boost...a little reminder...

so this is mine for you...

oh, yeah, and happy wednesday. it is gorgeous out ....................

more unsolicited advice

More words to live by...

• The Lotus Touts

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! ... When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

morning linds!

Well GOOOOOOD MORNING!!!!

My best friend [lindsay] is getting her MBA in an executive program at William and Mary. We're all proud of her... I'm also proud of her new professional id picture (i had to jump through hoops to commandeer said picture)... hehe

side note: I wonder if she feels like she is back in second grade...sitting for her yearbook photo. Hmmmm...

what's so funny?

Why Are We Ticklish?
By: Vicki Santillano

For all the laughter it produces, sometimes being ticklish is just annoying. It has prevented me from truly enjoying pedicures and far too many back massage attempts have ended with me in a fit of giggles. Try as I might to fight it and take the focus off my jumpy nerve endings, the slightest brush against a certain spot is enough to make me squirm and laugh uncontrollably. 

Why are we ticklish in the first place? 

Is it an inherited trait passed down from our ancestors or is it a learned social act? And why is it that we laugh, despite our discomfort? 

A Physiological and Social Phenomenon

When it comes to the question of why certain parts of our bodies—feet, chest, lower backs, underarms, etc.—are more sensitive than others, some believe that it’s an evolutionary trait we’ve developed to protect ourselves from small bugs, spiders, and other surprise attackers. The key word here is surprise—the grazing touch usually needs to come unexpectedly to yield laughter. Research has shown that the cerebellum, which registers touch, shows more activity when the touch is a surprise rather than anticipated. If the brain recognizes that the touch is coming, it will make the nerve response less intense, which is why we can’t tickle ourselves successfully. 

Why we laugh when tickled is possibly where social cues come into play. Tickling that produces laughter is referred to as gargalesis, a term coined by two psychologists, Arthur Allin and G. Stanley Hall. (They differentiate this type of tickling from knismesis, which is akin to a light itch.) Gargalesis usually only occurs when the tickler and the tickler’s “victim” are familiar and comfortable with each other. A child being tickled by his or her parent, or a person being tickled by a partner or close friend, will often attempt to escape the attack, but will laugh when doing so. However, imagine if a random person on the street or even someone you just met tried to tickle you. The response would probably not be laughter—in fact, it would be downright awkward and creepy. That’s because we learn from a young age that it’s only socially acceptable for those we trust to have that kind of contact with us. 

What’s so Funny?

Charles Darwin believed that tickling was the key to creating social bonds between people, such as mother and child or between romantic partners. He saw it as social play, a positive and safe way to stimulate each other. But is tickling actually pleasurable? Even though we laugh along when the right person performs the act, tickling is not often enjoyed. The discomfort makes us wiggle away from the person, yet our laughing encourages the tickler to continue. In one study that examined the physical response to tickling, 70 to 75 percent of participants laughed when stimulated, but most stated afterward that they generally did not enjoy being tickled. If that’s the case, where does the laughter come from? 

Theories about the origins of tickling-induced laughter abound. One psychiatrist, Donald W. Black, found that the places on our bodies most prone to feeling ticklish relate to our reflexes, implying a connection between the playful fighting back that occurs during tickle fests and acquiring necessary self-defense skills. According to him, laughing reinforces the act as a safe, non-harmful way of learning how to protect oneself. There are also some personality theorists who postulate that laughing, and even the degree to which we are ticklish, is based on how anxious or jumpy we are as people. They believe that those who are more prone to anxiety tend to have the most uncontrolled reactions to tickling, and that even the anticipation alone can set them off. 

However, one study conducted at the University of San Diego challenged these social hypotheses. Researchers created a tickle machine to test whether participants would have the same reaction to a non-human tickling sensation, and many ended up having similar responses—laughing, twitching uncontrollably—to those tickled by another person. Another study also found that rats similarly laugh when tickled, implying that the laughter might be reflexive, at least initially, rather than socially learned. 

Our common response to tickling may start out as a physiological reaction to perceived threats, but there is no doubt that it serves a social function as we get older. Despite the fact that tickling makes us cringe, it has a playful connotation. However, anyone who has suffered a merciless tickle attack at the hands of an older sibling knows that it isn’t always about being playful—sometimes it’s just a way to get under someone’s skin. Other times it happens without intention, like during a routine pedicure. 

Regardless of the role tickling plays in our lives, whether it protects us or brings us closer to others, we can always count on it as a sure source of laughter—even if we’re not sure why.

heart squeeze

i took this picture of my little cousin, peter benjamin wall, this morning...thought you could use a little squeeze to your heart today! 

more! laugh it out

Kids' Thoughts on Love

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Kids' thoughts on love and the proper age to get married (great for wedding speeches): "Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8) "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5) What do people do on a first date? "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9) Kids' thoughts on love and when it's okay to kiss someone: "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10) "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9) "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10) Is it better to be single or married? "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9) "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7) Kids' thoughts on love and why it happens between two particular people: "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9) "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8) The question, "What’s falling in love like?" "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9) "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7) Kids' thoughts on love and good looks: "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8) "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7) "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9) Kids' thoughts on love and why lovers hold hands: "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8) What do you really think of love? "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when “The Simpsons” is on television." (Anita, 6) "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8) "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10) Kids' thoughts on the personal qualities necessary to be a good lover: "One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8) What a funny quote about love! Kids' thoughts on love and ways to make someone fall in love with you: "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6) "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9) "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." (Bart, 9) How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love? "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9) "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8) "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are on fire." (Christine, 9) What are most people thinking when they say, “I love you”? "The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9) Funny quotes about love and learning to kiss: "You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7) "It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9) Kids' thoughts on the stages of love: "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7) "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8)

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Picture by Jen Fariello