Picture by: the one and only Sarah Cramer
here's to potential!
Picture by: the one and only Sarah Cramer
lucky in life
May We Be So Lucky
My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet. "In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."
At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:
"Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."
"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."
So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.
My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.
My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.
But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.
But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.
It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.
Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.
So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive.. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.
For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family.. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.
Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.
(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)
He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.
She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.
If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."
After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."
If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"
"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.
"No left turns," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.
As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."
"What?" I said again.
"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."
"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."
I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.
"Loses count?" I asked.
"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."
I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.
"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."
My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.
She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.
They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)
He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.
One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.
A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."
"You're probably right," I said.
"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.
"Because you're 102 years old," I said..
"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.
That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.
He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:
"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"
An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:
"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have..."
A short time later, he died.
I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.
I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,
Or because he quit taking left turns."
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it and if it changes your life, let it.
holiday snail mail
Just a little ditty has over 1,500 readers all across the globe... If we each pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these soldiers, who have sacrificed so much, would get. A little kindness has the power to go a long way...
A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue, NW
Washington , D.C. 20307-5001
(...and we can be creative... send a note, mix cd, quote, lottery ticket... the possibilities are endless. At the very least, please, please send a card!)
live.
“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness, Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher
it's back. again. ask yourself
* What historical figure do you most identify with?
* What living person do you admire most?
* What is your greatest regret?
* What and Who are the greatest loves of your life?
* What talent would you most like to have?
* If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
* What is your greatest achievement?
* What is the lowest depth of misery?
* What is your most marked characteristic?
* What quality do you admire most in a woman? In a man?
* Who are your favorite writers?
* What is it that you most dislike?
* What is your motto?
the road ahead
+ Kenji Miyazawa
teeny-tiny
food for thought: follow up
This site just went live this morning:
www.fastervaccines.org
We are the first Congressional Commission to use social media to reach out to the public. If you send an e-mail to your Senator or Representative, a 22 year-old staffer will make a check mark on a score card. However, if we get the response that we think is possible, it will give some real power to former Senators Bob Graham (D-FL) and Jim Talent (R-MO) to sit down with leaders in Congress and the White House.
We are not selling anything except an idea. With the capability to make vaccines faster and less expensively, we can save millions of lives worldwide.
We need help with the solution.
Watch it. Share it. Learn More. Join the Conversation.
all you need
A few weeks ago I met Georgiana and John, two people who have it all.
In a letter about his wife, John summed it all up, “Of all of our trips, the greatest was traveling through life together”. You can only hope for that kind of happiness and adoration. It is as unique and endearing as Georgiana and John, and in the end, it really is, all you need.
snail mail via email
food for thought
This site just went live this morning:
www.fastervaccines.org
We are the first Congressional Commission to use social media to reach out to the public. If you send an e-mail to your Senator or Representative, a 22 year-old staffer will make a check mark on a score card. However, if we get the response that we think is possible, it will give some real power to former Senators Bob Graham (D-FL) and Jim Talent (R-MO) to sit down with leaders in Congress and the White House.
We are not selling anything except an idea. With the capability to make vaccines faster and less expensively, we can save millions of lives worldwide.
We need help with the solution.
Watch it. Share it. Learn More. Join the Conversation.
Visit www.fastervaccines.org
play on
Accept the challenge. Play on!
We Are Headed North
- Furr (Blitzen Trapper)
- Girlfriend (Phoenix)
- Sometime Around Midnight (The Airborne Toxic Event)
- Human (The Killers)
- I and Love and You (The Avett Brothers)
- I Love The Rain The Most (Joe Purdy)
- Re: Stacks (Bon Iver)
- Wishing Well (The Airborne Toxic Event)
- Make it Up (Joe Purdy)
- Pretty Girl From Cedar Lane (The Avett Brothers)
- Lisztomania (Phoenix)
- Ahead of the Curve (Monsters of Folk)
- The Outsiders (Need to Breathe)
- Coming Back to Life (Pink Floyd)
hello there
stay hungry, stay foolish
happy friday pretty lady
good souls
happy friday
how are you today?
hopefully you've realized already
today is going to be a good day.
here's a song to get you started...
mail call
in a word: amazing
Sarah Cramer is one of those people who you just want to be around. You'll meet her, and you'll think to yourself... Hmm...how can I join her orbit? I need (NEED) her as a friend. Luckily for me, it just worked itself out! I helped Sarah plan her wedding last April (I'm finally getting my act enough to put up these amazing shots by Jack Looney). We had the BEST time planning together and ever since, have been buddies. She's got amazing energy, she's interesting and also interested. Her attention to detail is awesome... and the best part is, when her wedding day came, she left it all up to her trusty vendors, let loose, and had the time of her life.
Last night we FINALLY caught up over a glass of wine (ok, truth be told, we started with a glass but ended up with a bottle and dinner...). Wedding season has been in full swing, and between the two of us (She's a bad-ass photographer, check out CRAMER PHOTO) we've been hard pressed to find a time to get together. It was worth the wait.... my abs hurt from laughing today, my cheeks from smiling. Its true. I didn't make that up.
Yesterday was a BIG day for Sarah and Cramer Photo... She opened up her very own office and studio on the Downtown Mall in Charlottesville. She gave me the grand tour...and it is amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Sarah is 26 years old, an extremely talented photographer, runs her own company (which, she obviously ROCKS) and now is the proud owner of an amazing downtown studio space. I'm in awe, I'm proud, and yes, I'm even a bit jealous! I can only imagine what's next Cramer!
live at bethel hollow
Saturday was incredible. I’m not talking about the weather, even though it certainly was, a gorgeous day. I’m talking about the people who came together in Covesville to raise money for a new community hospital, a new park, a new green space, and what we all hope will be a new tradition. John Pringle’s voice and masterful guitar work echoed over Bethel Hollow. Over conversations and laughter, over stories and ideas, over new introductions and reacquainted hugs. Thank you to all those who came out to support our Pringle for the Park concert. It was a day, a night, and an event to remember. And we have YOU to thank and a green space to look forward to!
look around... look ahead...
They are words that have echoed in my head. And for good reason.
Jay Lavender, Best Man extraordinaire, grabbed the mic, took one look around the packed ballroom, then opened his toast with
"You never know when you're going to meet your next best friend".
Truer words have never been spoken. So think about it. Let it sink in. And then remember Jay's quote. Because you've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain. And you never really know what lies ahead. Today or tomorrow.
Pringle for the Park: Live at Bethel Hollow
We are excited to have the opportunity to present Pringle for the Park: Live at Bethel Hollow.
As most of you know, in 2012 Martha Jefferson Hospital will open her new doors to new patients and fresh spaces at the Peter Jefferson Place. Included in the design are plans to create a five-acre green space with a connection to the Rivanna Trail, which will provide a welcoming retreat for not only the patients, their families, and the devoted MJH staff, but also for the Charlottesville community and its visitors. The money raised on the nineteenth will be used to assist in the creation, construction and enhancement of the park and trail, and will be dedicated in memory of Dr. Jim Knight.
In our effort to raise funds for the park and trail, we invite you to Pringle for the Park: Live at Bethel Hollow. September 19th, at 4:30 PM. John Pringle is known for his poignant vocals and masterful guitar work. He has local roots but has been booked across the country playing in some of the most notable venues and is currently producing his second album. Enjoy with us delicious tastings from The Shebeen, quench your thirst with local brew from Starr Hill and award winning wine from King Family Vineyards. By simply participating in this festive evening, you will contribute to a cause that will cross generations and continue to impact patients, their families, and the Charlottesville community for years to come.
We are very proud to be fully sponsored by The Shebeen, King Family Vineyards, Festive Fare Rentals and Skyline Tent Company and Faulconer Construction as our sole financial sponsor. Because of our sponsors, your donation will be fully contributed to the new park at MJH.
Space is limited to 200 people, so please purchase your tickets today, and support a cause for tomorrow.
We hope to see you at Bethel Hollow!
good morning
my journey. your journey. the journey. journey on
Mares sent this to me last night. She saw it somewhere and texted it to me. It might be my all time favorite quote. It is pretty incredible. And oh-so-right. The time is now!
"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness IS the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one... Happiness is a journey, not a destination....” - Souza.
journey on!
the test
My mom sent me this newspaper clipping this week. It is part of an obituary that has has been floating around her desk for awhile. I am not sure whose obituary this was, but I wish I had known them. He obviously knew (and shared) the importance of living well and loving much.
"Honesty, hard work, going out of your way for others, doing the right thing at the right time, these are what will build strong relationships with others. And these relationships will not only bring you happiness every single day, but they will help save your life wen you need them the most. It is not possible to exaggerate the importance of family and friends."
He encouraged the students to create a vision for their lives and work tirelessly toward it.
"We cannot decide what happens to us, but we can decide what happens in us," he said. "How we take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of beauty. That is the test of living."
exhaust yourself
snail mail
Those of you who know me, know that one of my favorite things is snail mail. Good ol' fashioned snail mail. There is something about a handwritten letter or post card, your name & address, the smudge of the ink, the stamp, the sentiment, the effort, the places it has already been. Don't get me wrong, I like to send mail just a much as I like to get it, perhaps even more. It's a good way to make someones day, from where ever you, and they, are. Honestly...it's one of the best deals around... for less than 50 cents you can post your card from point a to point b, and within days, voila.... special delivery!
My friend, Teddy, just Quit His Job as a paralegal and has moved across the pond where he is about to start adventures as crew aboard a sailboat. First stop the Mediterranean Sea... Second stop, a voyage across the Atlantic (ok, so I oversimplified his trip...). Not bad for shirking responsibilities....
More on Teddy later. For now...
Here is the lone quote that arrived, from Teddy, in my post box today. Special Delivery...
as the tints of morning and evening. It is a little star dust caught,
a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched."
-Thoreau
a little reminder
ready or not
A friend of mine included this in an email yesterday. And i've been thinking about these words since I read them. How right YOU are... you're not always ready to listen, read or hear things in your life. You'll get there, so will I... and the world will be better for it. There is no rush. Remember to live the questions now. Live the moment. The answers will come.
turn it up
you. You. YOU.
A few years ago a friend of mine gave me this incredible set of questions. It’s called the Proust Questionnaire. My answers have certainly changed (more than once…) since I first wrote them down...and frankly, some of them are still awaiting answers, and that's okay. Give them a go, pass them on, and live the questions now.
- What is your idea of perfect happiness?
- What historical figure do you most identify with?
- What living person do you admire most?
- What is your greatest regret?
- What and Who are the greatest loves of your life?
- What talent would you most like to have?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What is your greatest achievement?
- What is the lowest depth of misery?
- What is your most marked characteristic?
- What quality do you admire most in a woman? In a man?
- Who are your favorite writers?
- What is it that you most dislike?
- What is your motto?
stop. look. listen.
Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
45 minutes:
The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.
1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.... How many other things are we missing?