never return

(Matt wearing his favorite shirt. Fisherman's Village Island, Thailand)

Yesterday, hundreds of friends and family sat on the 24th street beach in Avalon to celebrate and memorialize Matt's life and his impact on others. His best buddy, Patrick, ordered over two hundred Quit Your Job shirts from the Island Company to hand out, as a reminder of Matt's mantra. Patrick shared this email with us-- an email from Spencer Antle, the founder of the company who created the shirts. Matt, easily, could have written this email. It's along the same lines as a converstaion I had with Matt over his shirt, walking around an island off the coast of Thailand. Spencer's letter is below...read on...


Patrick,

Let me know that you got the shirts when they arrive and that all is accounted for. I hope we were helpful and I hope that the memorial goes well.

The thought of all those people wearing the shirts at such a situation is staggering to us here. For something I wrote to have been part of someone's life like that is heartfelt for me. It was meant to make people think about their lives and to get out there and live. After hearing the story, it's clear that was how Matty was living his life. To have the shirt associated with his passing is difficult for me to comprehend somehow. I've always had a rule when I attend funerals or memorials that I try and find something about the person who's passed and incorporate it into my daily life. I didn't know him but somehow this has reaffirmed what that shirt was supposed to mean. That life is short and we can waste no time not enjoying it to its fullest. I wanted to explain a bit about the shirt and what it means to me since I am sure it will become a topic of conversation since so many people will be wearing it as a testament to what Matty valued in his life. The meaning of the shirt isn't as base as people usually think.

QUIT YOUR JOB: It isnt exactly about just quitting your job. It's about getting unstuck. If you're not happy, what are you waiting for? Quit following the path that is unfulfilled and consider doing something else. The time is Now. For most of us, this is the hardest part of changing your life. Making that first step. You have two choices in life: the path of least resistance, or the path you can’t resist. I say, “why resist?”. Quit. Go. Now.

BUY A TICKET: the world is a big place and there's a million dreams we've all had, most of which will go unrealized unfortunately. Buying a ticket means finding a destination where you think improvement can be made and pointing yourself in that direction. The great thing about travel is when we get somewhere new our lives usually appear different to us when we look back into them from the outside. I've always thought that as a society we don't spend enough time vacationing. We spend 50 weeks a year working for the goal of taking 2 weeks off. There’s an obvious problem with this equation. But even one day off, if lived correctly, can be a major return on a small investment. The ticket doesn’t cost that much in the scope of life.

GET A TAN: It’s not about the tan. It's really about letting yourself go, to really learn to relax and become a "local" in your new environment. I've found through extensive island travels that its takes a considerable amount of time to become "unstuck" and become a local. Our day-to-day jobs, efforts, trials and tribulations build up a lot of scar tissue and we put up a lot of barriers in dealing with them. This makes seeing the good things hard sometimes. It takes nearly a month to truly decompress. Another month to become yourself again (and by yourself I mean that person who was once full of ideals and dreams that has been slowly silenced by the day to day monotony that seems to change us and put us off course). And again it takes another month just to become indoctrinated in becoming a “local” in whatever new environment you are in. The locals know the roads, the hideaways, the places that make you smile. They are freer than us. So yeah, I guess I'm saying that to truly "get a tan", and not just a "tourist tan", you need to be somewhere 3 months. We've seen them on vacation - those dark-skinned, ex-patriated locals that make us jealous. Their tans are different than ours. Well so are their minds too.

FALL IN LOVE. I think this is a testament to becoming yourself again. It doesn't necessarily mean "finally finding that perfect person that only exists in faraway fantasy locales", but by returning to the state of mind that allows you to be open to falling in love. In love with where you are, who you are, and in love with the potential of your future. This love is what allows great things to happen again. And it usually isn’t dependent on anyone other than ourselves to achieve.

NEVER RETURN. Well it's the best ending to being reborn. Don't go back to the past, keep moving forward, life can be as great as we want to make it, so never move backward. The past makes up who we are. No matter how great, or how bad some events have shaped us, it's what we're left with today that we have to work with. This is where true growth happens in our life. By moving forward, building upon the past, seeking greatness in the future. Never returning.

I'm sure that Matty would want there to be a celebration for what he did and accomplished, if even for his short time, I’m sure he was proud of it. Most true travelers, wanderers and seekers seem to share this view on Life and Death. To truly walk into the future with open eyes and an idealistic heart, you have to have a shallow fear of death. If you don’t have this strength you can’t get very close to The Edge, and unfortunately The Edge is where most living takes place, where most of life’s rewards are found. Everyone knows the timeless saying that nothing great came without risks. And we all know Life is rarely found sitting on the couch. People who share an affinity for this shirt seem to be of this Life Warrior spirit. It’s just a tee shirt at the end of the day but its really weird the people it attracts.

I tell my family that if anything ever happens to me to celebrate what I did, not the loss of what I didn't do. I've had great opportunities, seen great things, and done more in some months that people get to do their whole lives. And I'd be upset if anyone spent even one minute mourning my life. I'd rather it be talked, rejoiced and laughed about and I’d be upset that I couldn’t attend my own memorial. It’d be the only time all my friends who knew me got together at one time. What a shame it’d be if all those great people that shared one singular person didn’t have a blast at this once-in-a-lifetime event. Matty's life deserves the same.

I would've liked to have met Matty -- another warrior from the front lines of life and its experiences.... He sounds pretty cool.

Please pass on Island Company's and my thoughts and wishes to all his family and friends.

Kindest thoughts,
Spencer Antle
Creative Director
Island Company

top of the day to you

A few years ago i started making a list of my highs.  You know, the best part of your day. The high. It is mostly a mental list-- although i've written some of them down, shared some of them through stories and letters, most of my highs are stored in my head (read: some forgotten, some remembered). Sometimes my high is as simple as receiving a smile from a stranger, or a note from my sister. As simple as witnessing someone walking down the street, alone, with a smile on their face. Or finally being able to do a yoga pose i've been working on for months. Or waking up to a hot pot of coffee. Or getting to my car on a snowy day and finding that someone has brushed it off, just because. Or opening the mailbox to find good old fashioned snail mail from a college friend. or my mom. or my grandfather. or you. My highs are consistently the little things. The sincerity of the world around me and the people within it. Seeing someone flip a penny on the ground from tails to heads...for someone else to find, heads up.  The cashier at the grocery store who looks me in the eye and says "have a good day", and means it. Sometimes, my high, is as simple as waking up, and realizing there is a lot ahead. today. and tomorrow.

good morning 

good morning

good morning

i hope it's a great one

to love and laughter, and happily ever afters...

"Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light." 

live well, laugh often, love much

Matt signed all his emails and letters with live well, laugh often, love much. It was more than a closing, more than just a motto. It was how he lived. Honestly, I don't even know where to begin this post, I already know I will not do Matt justice. All I really know, is that he came into my life for a reason-- and luckily, I figured that out the moment I met him, not the moment he died. Matt used to say, "lose the morning, lose the day". He made the most of every day-- and truthfully, I'm not sure he would have any regrets about his life...How many of us could say that? I, am certainly not one of them, yet. 

In so many ways, Matt reminded me of Ben, my brother. He was funny, he was genuine, he was engaging. He reminded me of someone YOU would want to be friends with. You'd want him in your life forever, and you'd probably realize that, like me, within minutes of meeting him.  Losing him, would feel like the world has lost someone, not just you. And it has. I also know that through Matt's loss..the world has gained. I think for a lot of us-- it takes losing someone, like Matt, who lived every day as fully as one could-- to realize, that THAT is what life is about. Its not the small things (or maybe it is, because some small things, unlike others, DO matter). But not the smalls stuff. Don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy the little things, live for today, because it really is, the only thing we'll ever have. And those of us lucky enough to have had Matt in our lives, know that we have one heck of a lead to follow.